Word Aware

Here are a few interesting word observations I've made over the last few days...

Is it "a broad" or "abroad"?

My interaction with Debbie Norwitz, new member of ABWA's Scottsdale Express Network and a travel agent specializing in volunteer vacations, had the whole room chuckling at our recent luncheon. A volunteer vacation offers you the opportunity to take a trip that combines service — teaching English, building homes, constructing sewer systems, working with AIDS orphans, etc. — with a traditional vacation. As president of Scottsdale Express, I had just opened the floor for members to make announcements about upcoming events they wanted to promote. Debbie stood and announced that she would be hosting an evening for anyone who was interested in learning how to volunteer abroad. Even though I'm familiar with her business, when she said it out loud, I heard, "anyone who is interested in learning how to volunteer a broad." So I asked, pointing to myself, "Volunteer a broad, like a chick?" The room erupted, as she corrected, "No, like volunteering...overseas." Ahhh...now I see.

Sometimes our diction can help these situations. Sometimes it's simply about paying more attention, as the listener.

Drummer needed.

Was sitting in a cool, trendy coffeehouse in central Phoenix the other night, waiting for someone who never showed up. Had the opportunity to notice a fellow patron, though, who was wearing a shirt that said DRUMMER NEEDED. My immediate thought was, "What a cool way to advertise."

However, I'm not sure it would work for all situations. I mean, I don't know many gals who would be very taken with a guy who wore a shirt that said GIRLFRIEND NEEDED, and I'm willing to bet homeless people wouldn't get a lot of offers if they wore shirts that said, FOOD AND/OR JOB NEEDED. But for this guy's needs, the advertising venue seemed perfect...depending, of course, on where he hangs out and wears the shirt.

I wonder how many inquiries he gets, and how long it takes him to find his perfect drummer...if, indeed, this is his only method of advertising.

Spelling, anyone?

Since it is impossible to write in a vacuum, it’s incumbent upon us to be conscientious about avoiding noticeable misspellings as we publicly issue relevant commentary. While I believe it is perhaps occasionally acceptable, and more likely unavoidable, to insert the odd occurrence of a weird spelling or grammar faux pas, I prefer my readers to be privileged to appreciate my commitment to humorous, indispensable, intelligent writing that supersedes that which can be acquired in the average library.

The link below contains a list of the 100 most commonly misspelled words. Peruse it at your leisure, understanding there is no judgment here of bad spellers (see There's No Shame in Being a Bad Speller/Poor Grammarian), but simply the recommendation that you immediately precede hitting “send” by using your SpellCheck function, as there generally is no excuse for embarrassing goofs which can accidentally make one appear to lack intelligence.

Your Dictionary - 100 Most Common Misspellings

Bad Spelling: Not Always a Laughing Matter

­WARNING: The following post is not PC. If black humor offends you, stop reading now and click over to Reader’s Digest or Garrison Keillor.

To appreciate this story, you really have to know Todd. He is a Certified Financial Planner™, but he’s unlike any financial advisor you’ve ever met. He is, of course, smart, charming, and well-versed in financial matters, but his approach is holistic, educational . . . spiritual, even. And what’s more, he’s funny.

He jokes that in the year since we met, my sense of humor has increased noticeably and measurably, just due to his humorous influence and subsequent, if unintended, tutelage in the art of funniness.

Being an unconventional planner, we figured Todd's company, Azmyth Financial, should keep unconventional hours: 10 a.m. to 2 a.m., 6 days a week, sounded pretty good. Don’t try to schedule an early a.m. session, though – that is the time he specifically reserves for rest, rejuvenation, and the challenging dreamwork and visioning that enables him to serve his clients with a more intuitive, spiritual, nonjudgmental, holistic approach than any other financial planning service in the galaxy. Lately, though, he’s been choosing to close up shop by midnight – a tad on the early side.

“But if a client needed you – you know, in a financial emergency – you’d stay open, right?” I asked the other night.

“Oh, sure,” he said agreeably.

“You’d be there to talk them down if they were ready to jump off a bridge at 2 a.m.?” I asked further, for clarification.

“Don’t joke about that. That’s serious. It’s really happened,” came his quick response.

“To you? You’ve actually had to talk someone off a ledge?” I asked, incredulous. He’d never mentioned such an act of bravery and heroism.

“Well, no, not to me personally. But it has happened,” he explained. “And it’s much more likely to happen in my industry than in yours,” he quipped. “I can just see it now:

‘It's obvious. I’ve always been a rotten speller, and I'm always going to be a rotten speller. I can’t go on. I must end it now.’

‘No, no - you’re a good speller, really – and a great writer. Please come down
from that ledge.”

‘I can’t. I never know whether it’s a comma, colon, semicolon, or a dash. And the its . . . forget the its. Is it it’s or its? Who knows? How can I ever hope to keep it all straight? It’s no use . . . I’m jumping.’

‘No please. Don't jump . . . we can work this out. It’s not so bad. We can fix it. There are tutors. Editors. SpellCheck!!’"

OK – so it turns out Todd’s right – again. I’m much less likely to find myself facing such a dramatic, life-or-death scenario...although I did have a client once who called me at 11:30 p.m. to ask if a particular comma on page 83 of the 27th draft of her book was really necessary.

Now, I realize that jumping to one’s death – whether over their, they’re, and there, or a pending lawsuit and potential financial ruin – is really never funny. I get that. But Todd truly is a gifted planner who can help virtually anyone in any financial circumstance, whether it’s getting out from under a mountain of debt or handling assets in excess of several million dollars. And if you called him with a 2 a.m. emergency, I have not doubt that he really would help you.

In the meantime, you can call me 24/7 if you ever need help figuring out whether it’s affect or effect.

On balance, I’d say it’s a tossup as to whose work is more valuable in a civilized society such as our own: a sound recommendation for appropriate asset allocation or help spelling recommendation. You decide. And let me know. There's a Starbucks latte riding on the outcome of your decision.

There's No Shame in Being a Bad Speller/Poor Grammarian

IThe following is the transcript of a recent voicemail I received from a client:

Hi, Laura. It's Elizabeth*. I really hope I caught you in time. You know that article I sent you to edit? Don't open it! I mean, I hope you didn't look at it yet. I just reread it, and realized it's terrible. I need to rework it. I'll see what I can do with it later this afternoon, and send you my improved version tonight or tomorrow. Thanks.

Unfortunately, Elizabeth still has not sent me the revision.

It's a funny thing about writing. Many people have absolutely no confidence at all in their ability. Thing is, they are often more skilled than they give themselves credit for. And for those whose ability is less than stellar, that's the whole reason they hire an editor, isn't it?

What I'd like to convince my client, Elizabeth, though — and everyone else out there who feels like she does — is that there is absolutely nothing to be ashamed about, with regard to her writing skills. No matter how bad the spelling or how egregious the grammar errors, none of that is representative of how smart she is or how important the information she wants to share with her audience.

In a 2000 Suite101.com article, "What Does Your Spelling Say About You Behind Your Back?" Sandra Linville references Marilyn Vos Savant's book, The Art of Spelling: The Madness and the Method. Vos Savant wrote her book after conducting a 1998 survey in her Parade Magazine column, in which she asked, "What does your spelling really say about you? Is spelling ability a measure of your education, intelligence, desire, or none of the above?"

In her article, Linville explains, "The survey garnered more than 42,000 responses, indicating that better organizational skills benefit spelling ability, rather than intelligence. However, Vos Savant realizes that inept spellers can look inept in other ways. A misspelled word can kill a job offer or result in a rejected proposal. She also states that an English-speaking perfect speller doesn't exist."

Corresponding with Vos Savant's theory, it is widely reputed that Albert Einstein, the unquestionable genius physicist, was so bad at spelling that he was initially assumed to be retarded. In fact, according to the 1998 ScienceGoGo.com article, "Ten Obscure Factoids Concerning Albert Einstein," Factoid #3 is:

He Was a Rotten Speller. Although he lived for many years in the United States and was fully bilingual, Einstein claimed never to be able to write in English because of "the treacherous spelling." He never lost his distinctive German accent either, summed up by his catch-phrase "I vill a little t'ink."

Renowned social scientist Howard Gardner has done much research on the concept of multiple intelligences. Essentially, although each of us has many ways in which we learn and perceive information, we generally have one primary area where we excel.

Although Gardner originally determined seven different intelligences, an eighth one, naturalistic intelligence, has recently been added to the list. Brief descriptions of each intelligence are:

Verbal/Linguistic — This intelligence is related to words and language, both written and spoken. It dominates most educational systems in the United States.

Logical/Mathematical — Often called “scientific thinking,” this intelligence is related to inductive and deductive thinking and reasoning, numbers, and the recognition of abstract patterns.

Visual/Spatial — This intelligence relies on the sense of sight and being able to visualize an object, including the ability to create internal mental images/pictures. People who enjoy mediation and guided imagery or hypnosis are commonly very visual or spatial learners.

Intrapersonal — This intelligence relates to inner states of being, self-reflection, metacognition (i.e., thinking about thinking), and awareness of spiritual realities.

Interpersonal — This intelligence operates primarily through person-to-person relationships and communication.

Bodily/Kinesthetic — This intelligence is related to physical movement and the knowing/wisdom of the body, including the brain’s motor cortex, which controls bodily motion.

Musical/Rhythmic — This intelligence is based on the recognition of tonal patterns, including various environmental sounds, and on sensitivity to rhythm and beats.

Naturalistic — This intelligence is based on the sensing of patterns in and making connections to elements in nature.

So although verbal and linguistic may arguably be perceived as the most commonly emphasized of the eight intelligences, it is far from the only one. The fact is that each us has special skills — and it's not always spelling and grammar. Those may be my personal strengths, but just ask my niece about my fiasco as a sub, teaching math to her 6th grade Montessori class.

My client who said she needed to rewrite her article before she sent it to me reminded me of those people who feel they have to clean their houses before the housekeeper arrives. That one also baffles me. If we could all just get past our shame about our deficiencies and focus on the things we do well, life would be so much easier.

* This name has been changed to protect my client's identity.